Flashbacks and Emails
by Pikachumaniac
Summary: A Mimoe, my absolute favorite type of romance. My first romance, blah, blah, blah, please enjoy, I hope you like it, R&R, thanks. Anyway this is the reload of the fic because the font was bad.


Disclaimer: Digimon belongs to Saban and Bandai. Michelle, Brian, and the storyline belong to me. You see, Digimon doesn't belong to me, and somehow, I doubt that it ever will, although I will dream about it. However, if I ever do own Digimon, a girl with purple eyes and an attitude like mine named Michelle will be showing up and eventually marrying him, so since it is doubtful that it will happen, I will keep dreaming. Sue me… and it will be a pointless, stupid, waste of your time cause you won't get anything worthwhile unless you are an avid Animorphs fan and is secretly trying to sue me so you can have my complete collection of Animorphs (I'm only missing one Alternamorphs, for your information), well… that's a different story.

Flashbacks and E-Mails ^_~

A Mimoe (My absolute favorite type of romance). This takes place before Mimi moves back to America, but only a little while before, so Michelle is already Matt's girlfriend, okay? However, they've only been a couple for a couple of weeks, all right? And yes, this does take place after "Revelations." If I haven't put up "Revelations" yet, well, it's also a part Mimoe, so you have to know that Mimi and Joe are already a bit like a couple in the beginning.

This is mostly based around Joe, Mimi, and Brian. Also, Ken is an official good guy.

Oh yeah. Pretend Mimi doesn't have a younger brother. And although most of my stories do include having the Digimon in the real world, I decided not to do that in this story because I wanted to make it a straight romance with absolutely no action.

And Joe, Tai, Matt, Sora, Michelle, and Izzy all go to the same school, okay? Mimi is still in America, while the rest of the Digidestined are in middle school. And I decided to have them wear their school uniforms (sigh).

And I better warn you. I switch between POV basically every asterisk. The POVs are in Joe and Mimi only. Okay, that should be all. Enjoy!

****

Rated PG for language

"Mimi! Wait!"

I turned around and came face to face with Brian, one of my friends.

"Hi Brian!" I chirped as he came running towards me. He had shining brown eyes and his hair was a dark brown, almost like dark chocolate.

"Um… I was wondering about something," he began hesitantly.

"Yes?" I asked.

"You know the dance next week?"

I grinned. How could I not? It was only the BIGGEST dance of the year.

"Yep," I replied.

"I was wondering… are you going with anybody?" he asked hopefully.

"No," I replied.

"Well… uh… are you planning to go?"

"Only is somebody asks me," I replied slyly. I knew where this was going.

"Uh… would you go… uh, if I asked you to go with me?"

"Like a date?"

"Uh… yeah…" he mumbled.

I watched him. He looked so hopeful, his brown eyes sparkling and pleading silently.

"Oh… Brian," I began. He looked down, guilty.

"I would love to go with you," I finished, and he looked back at me.

"You will?"

I nodded.

"Mimi… you, you don't know how much this means to me! Wait until I tell the others!" he cried happily, hugging me and giving me a quick kiss on the lips. I blushed as somebody passed by, staring.

Finally, he let go and took my hand gently. I looked into his brown eyes, and almost felt like I could melt. He had always been so kind, one of the first to help me on my first day at school. He had been the one to show me around school and introduce me to his friends, who later became my friends. I owed a great deal to him, and I guess I really did like me.

But when I looked into his brown eyes, I suddenly remembered a face that I haven't seen for a while. A face with silent black eyes and rectangular glasses, shoulder length navy blue hair and a smile that always made me feel loved and safe.

Jyou…

Or more correctly, Joe. Jyou "Joe" Kydo.

I stiffened. How could I be so stupid? Joe was my boyfriend! How could I betray his trust while I was in America and he was still in Odaiba?

Brian noticed me stiffen, and he stopped and held me gently.

"Mimi? What's wrong?" he asked softly.

Joe wouldn't mind if I went out with somebody else once, right?

Right?

I shook my head and smiled at him.

"Don't worry Brian. Nothing is wrong," I replied, although a bit shakily.

He watched me, his brown eyes concerned.

"Are you sure, Mimi?"

I felt a pang of guilt. For some reason, he reminded me of Joe when he said that, except that Joe would have called me Meems.

But I nodded anyway.

"Sure, Brian. I'm all right, and you don't need to worry about me," I told him gently, and although my words seemed to sooth him a little, he still seemed a bit worried for me.

As we continued to walk down the hallway, he was silent. When we got to the end of the hallway, he watched me intently.

"Mimi. I want you to know that I will never ever want to hurt you. If you want to change your mind, I will understand."

"Brian… I…"

"Please… Mimi. I love you very much, and I don't want to see you hurt. So… please tell me when you're in trouble," he finished softly, and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek before walking away.

I watched after him.

Oh, Brian… this isn't your fault.

It's mine.

And I have to resolve it.

* * * *

"Mr. Kydo, could you please tell me the answer to number 15?"

I snapped my head up. The entire class was watching me, and I could feel myself sweating.

"Uh… number… 15?" I gulped.

The teacher sighed.

"Yes, Jyou. If you had been paying attention, you would have some idea what I'm talking about."

I gulped again and nodded meekly.

Before the teacher could launch into a tirade about daydreaming in class, the bell rang and saved me, and before he knew it, I was already on my way out.

"Hi Joe!" Michelle waved as she walked down the hallway with Matt, who had his arm around her shoulder. Lucky. They had all the same classes except ONE.

"Hi Michelle. Hi Matt," I greeted the two as they stopped.

"Isn't it nice that we're at the same school now? That is, except Mimi!" Matt asked a bit evilly.

I blushed furiously, and Michelle jammed her elbow into Matt's stomach.

"Have you heard from Mimi lately?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"Meems hasn't e-mailed me for a while or called. I'm thinking about calling her soon, though."

"Well? That's good. Maybe you should be the first to start," Michelle shrugged.

"What if she finds me writing or calling her annoying?" I asked, my pessimism taking over.

Before either of them could reply, a hoard of girls started rushing towards Matt, who yelped, "OH NO! I THOUGHT I FINALLY GOT AWAY FROM JUN, AND NOW THIS!!!!"

"Sorry, Joe, but we gotta go!" Michelle yelled as the two dashed off with the entire cheerleading squad hot on their heels. I could hear their voices echo even after they had passed.

"Matt! Can I have your autograph?"

"What's wrong with me?"

"Do you want to go on a date?"

"Why not?"

"Please?"

"You're so cute!"

I chuckled grimly as I listened to their voices fade. It's as if they hadn't noticed yet that Matt and Michelle were an official couple. Either that, or they still refused to believe it.

Even though I was feeling sorry for them, I still couldn't feel a little jealous. They got to see each other almost every day. The last time I saw Mimi was… heck, I don't remember.

Maybe Michelle is right.

Maybe I should write her as soon as I got home.

* * * *

"Mimi, dear, how was school?" mom asked as I walked back.

"Fine," I replied.

"Oh? What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"What?? Boy problems?"

I watched her with amazement.

"How do you know?"

"Did somebody you like not want to go to the dance with you? If it is, I will go and knock some sense into him! Who wouldn't want to be with my sweet Mimi?" my mom laughed.

Oh mom. If only it was that simple.

My mom must have noticed how I lowered my head.

"Dear, I'm sorry. Do you have any homework today?"

"No," I replied softly.

"All right. I'm going on a shopping trip. Do you want to come with me?"

My mind raced. Shopping? I would definitely need a dress for the dance! But… the larger part of me didn't really want to go.

I shook my head.

"No, mom."

"Honey? Do you have a fever?"

"No, I'm fine."

She continued to watch me, concern all too apparent.

"All right, dear, if you say so."

I quickly left and went to the sanctuary of my room. And there… like it always was, was the picture of me in my usual red, white, and blue shirt with a yellow star and a white skirt and Joe in his school uniform right before I had moved to America. I was doing a peace sign with one hand and my other arm was holding his hand, and Joe had his free arm around my shoulder. 

Right next to it was a picture of me and my new friends. Brian was right next to me, his arm around my waist as I was laughing and trying to get away.

I felt another pang of guilt.

Joe… Brian. I liked them both! They were both so similar! Kind, loving, friendly, cute… Both loved me, but which one did I love more?

Joe… or Brian?

"You've got mail!" a voice suddenly chimed, and I looked at the computer with surprise.

Quick as a flash, I looked and saw that the e-mail was from none other but Joe!

I opened it quickly and skimmed through.

_Dear Meems… How are things in America? Things are fine in Japan. Matt hit it off big with a new girl, Michelle. Izzy and Yolei seem to be hitting it off too, and poor Davis is still trying to butt in between TK and Kari. Tai and Sora are also dating now, but that could be expected. I hope you're doing as well as we are. Hopefully, we will see each other soon. I really miss you, and I cannot wait for the next time we can talk._

Yours truly,

Joe

"Oh, Joe, why did you have to think of me now?" I asked the computer screen softly, resisting the urge to cry.

Finally, I started typing back.

_Dear Joe… Things are fine in America, as well as can be expected. I hope Matt is happy with Michelle, and Izzy is happy with Yolei. Poor Davis, I guess Kari just isn't interested in him._

What else could I write? Certainly not that I was going to go out with somebody else. But what? Should I express doubts about their relationship? Could I?

"Oh… why me?" I asked myself sadly.

_I miss you too, Joe, and I hope we see each other soon. Give the other Digidestined my regards._

Sincerely,

Mimi

Oh, why was he so nice?

Why couldn't he find somebody else? Wasn't there anybody better than me? Stupid Mimi Tachikawa? I was getting ready to betray his faith, trust, and love by going out with Brian.

And if I told Brian that I was already going out with Joe, I would hurt him as well.

What was I going to do?

I wanted to talk to somebody! SOMEBODY!! Well, anybody except my parents, Brian, and Joe.

Joe… why?

Why me? Why choose me when you could have anybody? You are sweet, kind, loving, reliable, responsible, and a great friend. Why choose me out of everybody else?

* * * *

I was feeling very lonely that night.

Tai and Sora were out dancing.

Matt and Michelle were at the movies.

Izzy and Yolei were probably surfing the internet.

TK and Kari were stargazing.

Davis and Cody were, what they called, guy bonding. In other words, pouting about how they don't have a girlfriend. They had actually invited me to go along, another reminder that I probably wasn't Mimi's boyfriend anymore. But I had declined, and now, here I am. Alone.

Maybe they know something I don't.

Maybe Mimi didn't love me anymore.

Suddenly, the door bell rang. I was home alone, so I had to get it. When I looked out the peep hole, I saw a familiar face with navy blue hair like my own, except the hair style was more like Kari's.

"Hi Ken," I greeted as I opened the door.

"And no hellos for me," Michelle scowled from next to him.

I jumped.

"Well, he probably didn't expect us from our movie so quickly," Matt shrugged.

Michelle giggled and joked, "That's probably because you were thinking about cracking the windows with your singing."

"Hey, my voice isn't bad!" Matt replied.

"Oh brother," Ken shook his head.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Ah well, we decided to come here and offer you our comfort to ease your suffering!" Matt said grandly.

"What suffering?" I replied. Oh god, maybe Mimi had told them that she was breaking up with me and she wanted them to break the news to me.

"Your suffering!" he answered, as if that explained everything.

I stared at him.

"All right, give me the truth," I glared.

"You don't think we love you enough to ease your suffering?"

I nodded and turned to Ken.

"What's your excuse?"

"Oh, he doesn't need anything, but we didn't like the thought of him being lonely so we stopped by his apartment and dragged him out. You see those rips in his clothes? You wouldn't believe what a fuss he put up," Michelle replied cheerfully.

Ken gave me a pleading look.

"Please… save me from these mad people," he begged.

"Oh no, genius, you're going to suffer along with us," Matt replied.

"What crime did I commit?"

"I dunno, but does it matter?" Michelle asked brightly.

Ken groaned and looked down.

I couldn't help but laugh at their antics.

"Okay… what is your real motive?"

"We're doing our good deed of the day and we chose you as our victim?" Ken asked.

"Get real."

"Must you be so suspicious?" Matt asked innocently.

I glared.

"If you guys are out just to do good deeds… I'm Santa Claus."

"If you are, I would like a person named Yamato Ishida under the Christmas tree, please, and maybe some light green wrapping paper, and a lot of duct tape to wrap around his mouth would be nice too," Michelle remarked brightly.

I groaned. This was going to take all night.

* * * *

"Mimi, dear, I have news."

I stiffened. Uh oh. I was probably in trouble now.

"Mimi? Are you all right?" my dad asked, concerned.

I looked up and gave my best smile.

"I'm fine, daddy."

"Well… we're, we're moving back to Odaiba."

My jaw dropped.

"Odaiba? Japan? Odaiba, Japan???" I stammered.

"Yes, Mimi, but that isn't all. We know that maybe… well, we figure that you might want to stay here. In America."

"But… who will I live with?"

"Your aunt and uncle will be glad to take care of you, and you can come visit us every weekend if you wanted to," mom replied.

"We're… we're sorry for dropping this on you so quickly, but we didn't know how to bring it up."

"We want you to know though that we won't try to change your mind, no matter how you choose."

I dropped my fork and pushed my food aside.

"Can I please be excused?"

"Mimi? Are you all right?" mom asked, concerned.

"Yeah… I'm… I'm fine."

Slowly, I walked back to my room.

* * * *

When I finally get rid of the happy elves, AKA Ken, Matt, and Michelle, I rushed over to the computer. Maybe Mimi had finally replied.

I opened my e-mail account.

"You've got mail."

I quickly opened the e-mail, which was indeed from Mimi.

And as I read it, my heart plummeted.

It was practically confirming every doubt I had. Sincerely?

No… maybe my pessisinism is simply taking over.

I shook my head.

"Keep dreaming, Kydo. Face it. She's not your girl anymore," I told myself.

Mimi.

Don't you know I still love you? I still care for you? The feelings have not diminished since you left, they have only intensified.

But, you probably don't return those feelings anymore.

I guess it's inevitable.

Gomamon was wrong. What do I have to offer her? Nothing. Reliability. Yeah right.

=Flashback= (This is from Chapter 3a, The Key Of Friendship, from my saga, Revelations. Unfortunately, due to major writer's block and too much homework, I haven't finished it although I have finished that chapter… and nothing else. So anyway, this little scene takes place about a year before the Digiworld… and it's sorta what convinced Joe that he should tell Mimi that he loved her. And the referrer to Gomamon will also be explained. Okay, that's all peeps, read on ^_~)

__

It was my turn for watch. So that was what Gomamon and I were doing; looking out, making sure that no evil Digimon were attacking us, bent on eating us up in one gulp, killing us, torturing us, or using us for it's evil spells, annoying prophecies, stupid heirs, or whatever.

However, I wasn't looking out for evil Digimon.

I was looking at her.

Mimi Tachikawa. Even her name was perfect! She was everything a person could want, kind, caring, sincere, loving…

I… well, I loved her. I don't think I have a chance, but it's true. Every time I'm with her, I feel… I dunno, exuberant, or something like that. Some people think she and Matt belong together, but we Digidestined know that the two don't show any interest in each other. I don't know why, but I'm sorta grateful for that. If Matt or Tai was in competition for Mimi against me… no doubt who she was going to pick. Besides, I didn't have anything to offer her. Tai had courage, Matt had friendship… and I was Mr. Reliable. But the feeling is still the same. I know for a fact that I love her. That's one of the reasons why I had stayed with her when we had separated after the Cherrymon incident. Not only because I wanted to make sure that she was safe, but that I had to be there simply because it was her. Maybe I would have done it for Sora, but I'm not sure.

"What's up, Joe? Don't you know we're supposed to be looking out for evil Digimon, not pretty girls named Mimi?" Gomamon suddenly snickered from next to me.

"I know, I know," I sighed, finally looking away from her. She was so perfect…

Gomamon stared at me for a while.

"Do you like her, Joe?"

"What?"

"Mimi. You keep on staring at her, I'm surprised you haven't burned a hole through her hat!"

"I… I…"

"Come on, you can tell your pal, Gomamon," Gomamon smiled so mockingly that I wanted to laugh.

"What do you think, Gomamon? What are my chances? She's pretty, she's nice, she's sincere. What do I have to offer her?" I demanded, looking at her again. She looked like an angel, her light brown hair spread around her as she smiled, probably dreaming of home. I wonder if she is dreaming about me? Ack! Keep dreaming, Kydo!

"Well, I'm not the best opinion, but I do my best. She can give you love, and you can give a lot of it back to her as well. You can teach her responsibility, and you can give her a backbone to lean upon. Even though you don't think so, you can offer her a lot, more than you would ever know."

I looked down at him.

"Gomamon…"

"Tell her, Joe. Tell her that you love her. You know you do, and you know you want to. And I have a feeling that she wants to hear you tell her that you love her as well…"

I stared at him. I never knew Gomamon could sound so… wise.

I wanted to tell him that he was right. That I should tell Mimi that I would always be there and that I would die for her.

That I loved her…

=End of Flashback=

I couldn't help but sigh at those memories.

"I'm sorry Gomamon. You may have been right then… but you're wrong now. Dead wrong."

Dead wrong. Dead, what a choice of words.

Dead wrong. Like our relationship.

Which was dead.

* * * *

"MIMI!!!!" my mother screamed quite loudly. As in, loud enough that I'm pretty sure that everybody in the neighborhood could hear.

"COMING!!!" I yelled back, although not as loudly. I flew down the scares as quickly as possible before she could inflict the entire neighborhood with her voice again.

"Phone," she held out the phone to me, and I picked it up gingerly.

"Hello?"

"Mimi?"

"Oh! Hi Brian!" I chirped.

"Mimi… uh, I was wondering if you would like to go watch a movie with me tonight." I couldn't help but feel like all my problems were being washed away.

"Hmm… only if you throw in dinner," I replied.

"It's a deal. Would you like me to pick you up at 5:30?"

"Sure," I replied casually.

"Thanks Mimi. I'll see you later," he answered, gratefulness in his voice.

"Bye," I said softly.

As soon as I straightened, I slapped myself on the head.

"I did it again," I muttered.

"Did what, honey?" mom asked.

I gave her my best smile.

"Nothing, mom."

I forgot Joe again.

Did this mean I didn't love him anymore? Or maybe… just maybe, I didn't want to love him anymore.

=Flashback= (This flashback is from chapter 3b, The Key of Sincerity, of my saga, Revelations. Same things apply here than to my last flashback.)

_As the fire burned lower, I snuggled closer to Joe, who looked surprised for a moment before placing his arm around me._

I got lucky, didn't I? I couldn't help but think. Joe was everything somebody could want.

Loving, kind, reliable, awfully sweet. Sure, he could be very pessimistic, but he was getting better. And… I couldn't help but notice that he was awfully cute too.

As he held me, I felt like nothing could hurt me. How could anybody? I was here, with somebody who I loved, and he loved me back. And no matter what happened, he would protect me.

Slowly… I drifted off.

Several hours later, I woke up to somebody poking my arm.

"Not now… mom… I'll get to school on time, don't worry," I murmured sleepily.

"Mimi, it's our watch," Palmon insisted.

"What?" I woke up instantly.

I had fallen asleep, and Joe was still holding me, and I had been using him almost like a pillow, curling up next to him. He still had his arm around me, and he was asleep.

"Maybe you shouldn't try getting up yet," Palmon said worriedly.

"Mmmm," I replied.

We sat there in quiet silence for a while.

"You like him… don't you?"

"Yeah…" I answered.

"Why?"

"Huh?" I asked, her question completely throwing me off guard.

"Do you love him because he loves you? Or did you love him before?"

"Palmon… before. Definitely before."

"That's good. I hope it works out, Mimi. You two look sweet together," Palmon replied a bit evilly.

"Palmon!" I exclaimed.

"I'm just kidding, Mimi."

"You better be," I pouted.

"Don't worry Mimi. By the look of things, I think nothing will ever come between you."

I looked up at Joe. He was sleeping, oblivious the conversation about him. His glasses were slipping down his face, and he looked so peaceful and calm, an air of confidence, something that he had lacked during our first trip to the Digiworld. He had changed a lot, as did I.

At that moment, I knew I never wanted anything to come between us.

'Don't worry Mimi. By the look of things, I think never will ever come between you,' Palmon continued to repeat in my mind.

"I hope not," I whispered so softly that nobody heard me.

=End flashback=

Suddenly a tear slid out.

"Oh Palmon. It looks like you were wrong," I mumbled quietly.

* * * *

"Joe? You don't look too good. Do you have a fever?" Sora asked worriedly as I passed by her.

"Oh. Hi Sora."

"Are you okay?" she asked again, concern livid.

"I'm fine," I replied bluntly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"If you say so…" she started walking away again, looking at me with a worried expression.

Well, what else could I say? Sorry, Sora, I'm unhappy because my girlfriend is probably breaking up with me because she isn't acting like she loves me anymore? That would be a laugh.

"Joe? You all right, man?" Tai asked as he walked by.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Several minutes later, as I was getting my lunch, Izzy passed by.

"Joe. You aren't looking well."

"I'm fine," I replied in clenched teeth. Was everybody able to read my mind?

I decided to eat my lunch at the library instead of with the other Digidestined. At least no more awkward questions.

As I sat there, reading a book on raising self esteem, I heard a familiar voice.

"Hi Joe! Fancy seeing you here. By the way…" Michelle began.

I blew up.

"I'M FINE, ALL RIGHT??????" I yelled, and the librarian glared at me.

Matt and Michelle just looked a bit shocked at me for a while.

"Well… that's nice to know, Joe, but we wanted to tell you that Cody wants you to know if you can see his grandfather with him. His grandfather's in the hospital, and Cody is sure he could use a visit from you," Matt told me.

"Oh," I blushed.

"Self esteem improving? Joe… are you… uh, forget," Michelle raised an eyebrow as she picked the book out of my hands and began flipping through it.

"What are you doing here anyway, Old Reliable?" Matt asked.

"Uh… nothing."

"Something to do with Mimi?" Michelle mumbled as she continued to thumb through the book.

I looked at her in shock.

"How did you know?"

"I'm a girl. What do you expect?"

* * * *

"Hi sweetheart," Brian greeted me with a quick kiss.

"Hi Brian," I replied, as he took my hand.

"So, movie first or dinner first?"

"How about a movie?"

"All right," he replied agreeably.

"Which movie are you planning on watching?" I asked as we walked together towards the movie theatre.

"Would you like romance, action, or horror?"

"Ugh, definitely not horror. I'm in a romantic mood today," I smiled at him. I couldn't help the nagging voice saying that I was Joe's girlfriend, but I pushed it away to a dusty corner of my mind.

"All right. Romance it is."

* * * *

After the movie, which I spent most of the time cuddled up to Brian who had his arms around me, we walked through the park. Dinner was completely forgotten, and besides, neither of us were hungry.

When he noticed me shiver, he had taken off his jacket and draped it around my shoulders.

"Thanks Brian," I whispered softly.

"It's okay, Mimi," he replied.

We continued to walk in silence.

"Would you like to sit down?" he asked, stopping in front of a bench that overlooked the pond.

"Do you?"

"I asked you first," he smiled.

"All right," I replied, and he helped me sit. And we sat there, my head leaning on his shoulder as we watched the moon's reflection on the almost still pond.

"Mimi… I love you," he suddenly whispered.

I looked at him.

"You do?"

"I do."

I leaned even closer to him.

"How much do you love me?"

He grinned at my question.

"Oceans."

"I'm glad."

"I am too," he replied, his arm around my shoulder.

Oh… how could I think of leaving him?

Brian… he loved me, he truly did. More than I can imagine.

Joe, he would understand, right? Besides, he was probably very popular, swamped by girls. He didn't need me. Brian did. Joe deserved somebody better than me, and no matter how many times he told me he loved me, there was probably somebody better for him.

=Flashback= (From "Tea For Four", a story that takes place a little after the Digidestined split up. I'm probably never going to finish and am totally debating whether I want to finish it or not)

__

"Joe?"

"Hmm?"

Joe turned to face me.

"Why… why did you stay behind? Why didn't you go with the others, but instead stay with me?"

Joe pushed his glasses up, even though he didn't need to because they would eventually fall back down.

"You needed somebody to take care of you. The others have each other, and Matt probably wouldn't want me to go with him. But you were a different story. I didn't like the idea of you having to fend for yourself in the Digiworld, even with Palmon to help you. Besides, I'm getting sick of fighting too, and I guess I can relate to why you stayed," he replied calmly.

I blinked. Finally, I stammered, "Thanks, Joe."

He smiled warmly.

"Anytime Mimi. Remember, it's my choice. I chose to stay behind with you, so don't worry about it."

How did he know I was worrying?

Sometimes, I wonder if he always knows what I'm thinking about.

=End of Flashback=

I didn't deserve him.

He always gave up so much for me, never thinking about himself.

He deserved somebody better, somebody who can give back what he gave up.

Anybody but me.

Or was I just lying to myself? Was I so desperate to have Brian that I was lying to myself?

I don't know. I really don't know.

* * * *

A dream. Of something that had already happened.

_"MIMI!!!!" I suddenly yelled, overcome by emotions. Gomamon was right! I loved her! I knew it then, and the feeling was even stronger now! I was her backbone, somebody she could rely on! I couldn't do anything to stop that reliability she gave me!_

She turned to look at me, and I looked down. Embarrassment caused me to flush, but I still said it.

"I… I love you…" I managed to stammer quietly, but loud enough that Mimi could hear. Her eyes flew open, showing her beautiful brown eyes, and she flushed as well.

"He finally did it. I knew I could rely on my friend, Joe, to be direct and speak to her about how he really felt for her. That's my pal, always reliable," Bukamon smiled sleepily.

Suddenly… it happened.

"Joe!" Mimi exclaimed, even as she struggled against the Digimon's grasp.

"What?" I asked, not looking down.

"The… the key! It's… it's glowing!" she replied, awed by the sight.

I looked down. The small gray key in the shape of the symbol of reliability that had securely been attached to the back of my tag was indeed glowing. The light was blinding, shooting gray rays in the air and filling the entire battle arena with a strange gray color.

The entire battle simply stopped, all too busy staring.

The gray light hovered in the air, as if uncertain of where to go, before suddenly plunging towards Bukamon.

"Bukamon!" I yelled as the light engulfed the small Digimon, glowing like crazy.

Suddenly, I heard the distant screaming of the Digivice. My Digivice!

"Bukamon digivolve to… GOMAMON!!!" The gray light was slowly dissolving, but the Digivice's screaming continued. Gomamon stood there, looking dazed… but determined.

"Gomamon digivolve to… IKKAKUMON!!!!" The furry white walrus was now standing in Gomamon's place, his sky blue eyes scanning the area.

"Joe, what's going on?" Mimi asked, fear all too apparent in her voice.

"It looks like Gomamon is digivolving to his MEGA form!" Izzy replied.

I woke up gasping. That had happened, hadn't it? I had finally acknowledged my love for Mimi, and that had allowed Gomamon to digivolve to his mega form, Marineangemon. And afterwards…

=Flashback= (again, from Chapter 3a of Revelations)

__

"Joe," Mimi began softly.

"Yes, Mimi?"

"Did… did you mean it when you said that you loved me?" she asked hesitantly.

She looked so apprehensive, as if my reply would mean the world to her. YES! YES! TELL HER!

Tell her that you love her. You know you do, and you know you want to. And I have a feeling that she wants to hear you tell her that you love her as well…

I felt Bukamon nudge me.

Slowly, I nodded my head.

Her eyes suddenly brightened considerably, and she smiled.

Dang, she looked so pretty, her light brown hair falling like waves and falling perfectly into place while her brown eyes were sparkling with so many emotions and feelings: pride, admiration, and most of all, love. I could feel myself blush.

She did too, and as if we were sharing a secret, we both stopped at the same time before turning to the others.

=End of Flashback=

Why? Why was I being plagued by all these flashbacks? Why must every second of every minute of every day be constant reminders of the girl I loved but couldn't have? Who probably didn't love me anymore.

I wanted to get this off my chest. I couldn't sleep anymore, I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't do anything without thinking of her.

I turned on the computer and began typing furiously.

* * * *

I think Brian later noticed my discomfort because he suggested that we go back to my place. I was more than eager to take up his suggestion, and we left quickly.

"Good night, Mimi," he said softly and kissed me quickly on the cheek before leaving.

"Thanks for a great night, Brian," I replied, giving him a quick kiss as well.

I watched his retreating figure. In so many ways, he was like Joe.

Joe.

I can't get him out of my mind.

As I walked back, the first thing I heard was not my mother asking how my day went, but the computer.

"You've got mail."

It was from Joe.

I opened it.

__

Dear Meems:

I hope you are well. But it's time I tell you this. Every day, I think of you, and I cannot get you out of my mind. I know we were a couple before you left, but things change, and I do not know whether or not it's you or me. I must tell you that I do indeed love you, and I always will. But it seems that things are changing, and is it you or me?

I know this seems awfully imprudent of me to write, but I really would like to know whether or not you still love me or not. Because if you don't, or if you have found somebody you love more and no longer want me butting into your life, I will understand. I should know that such a sweet and sincere person like you has better things to do than hang with a reliable geek like me.

I don't want to hurt you, Meems, but I do love you. That's why Gomamon digivolved to Marineangemon. Because I finally accepted the fact that I loved you, and I always will.

So… let's get this over with. I know you probably have better things to do, better people to see. I don't want to be a bother to you anymore. But remember. I do love you. And nothing will change that.

Love,

Jyou

I scanned it over.

I was wrong. He did love me.

And I was being plagued by these flashbacks too. All those memories, where he gave up so much to help me, to be with me. For me.

How… how could I ever consider leaving him.

How?

Joe… he had always been there for me. That was why he was Old Reliable. That was why he was the person we all looked to for responsibility. Because that was the type of person he was.

I couldn't… I shouldn't… forget that.

I had to go back.

I had to go back to Joe.

He loved me.

And I loved him back. I could never forget that.

We really had gone through so much together. We experienced things together that none of the others did.

When I had decided to leave the others, he stayed with me. When I refused to fight during the Saberleomon and Metaletemon battle, he had stopped Ikkakumon from Digivolving so he would respect my pleas of stopping the constant fighting. When I was afraid of climbing the mountain, he was there, telling me I would be all right and he would be right behind me. And when Gomamon digivolved, it was because he had finally admitted his love for me.

How could I forget it?

All these memories… it was as if they had been held back by a dam and were flooding back to me.

This was it. I was making my decision.

I was going back to Japan.

But… what about Brian?

* * * *

I can't believe I wrote that.

But I did.

Because I meant every single word I wrote.

How would she react?

Would she ignore it?

Maybe I was being stupid.

She probably hated me even more now.

How could I be so stupid?

How, how, how, how?

Suddenly, the computer beeped.

"You've got mail."

MIMI!!!!!!!!!

_Dear Joe:_

I'm moving back to Odaiba.

Please meet me at the airport on February 10, 2000.

And I love you too.

Yours forever, Mimi Tachikawa.

* * * *

Brian.

How could I do this to him?

He was so kind, so loving.

I called him up and asked him to meet me at the park bench where we had been only a couple nights ago.

He definitely didn't deserve somebody like me. I should have told him a long time ago that I already had a boyfriend.

When he saw me, he smiled and walked over, giving me a quick kiss.

"You look beautiful," he said softly, brushing several strands of my pink hair aside.

"You don't mean that!" I answered bitterly.

"Yes, I do," he replied confidently.

I bit my lip to keep from crying. I can't believe I'm doing this to him! He didn't deserve this!

He noticed my discomfort. If there's one thing he's really good at, it's noticing when I'm uncomfortable.

"Mimi? Are you all right?"

I looked up at him, tears blurring my vision.

"Brian… I don't know how to tell you this!" I cried softly, burying my head on his shoulder.

He seemed shocked for a moment before gently hugging me.

"Mimi… I don't understand."

"I'm so sorry! I should have told you! Now I've totally ruined our relationship, and I'll be surprised if you can even forgive me!" I continued to sob.

That only caused him to hug me harder and he gently cupped my chin and made me look up at him, concern livid in his eyes.

"Please tell me what's wrong. I can't stand to see you cry like this!"

I sniffed.

"Before I came… I… I already had… oh Brian! I was already in love with somebody when I was in Japan!"

He looked even more shocked, but he didn't twist away.

"His name is Jyou Kydo… Joe. We… we were a serious couple back then," I continued on mechanically, not really knowing what I was doing.

"Go on," he urged softly.

"But when I came here, I met you! You were just like him! Always sweet, caring, kind! I… I dunno how, but I fell in love with you too! But I can't forget Joe either! We've been through a lot together. He's always been with me, through thick and thin!

"Eventually, I tried convincing myself that he found somebody else. That he no longer loved me the way I thought he did… the way you did. I tried to tell myself that he didn't need me anymore, and we would be better off just friends. But I was wrong, so wrong. I was continuously being plagued by these flashbacks… all instances of where Joe showed his love for me and I returned it. I can't help it, I can't stop them, and maybe I don't really want to. I finally realized that I loved him too much to ever give him up, and he did too.

"I don't… I don't want to hurt you Brian. But it's just that… I don't know what to do! I love him so much, but I love you too! I'm confused.

"I… I'll understand if you hate me now… but I don't want to hurt you anymore! I want this to end, I want to get it off my back! I know you care for me, but you shouldn't! I'm just… I'm just a backstabber! I never should have tried to pretend nothing was wrong! I should have told you! And now… you probably hate me!!!"

He just stood there, still holding me, but I can tell he was shocked.

Finally, he helped me sit down and faced me, sadness in his brown eyes.

"Mimi… I'm, I'm sorry I brought this on you. I should have known that such a sweet girl like you would already have somebody, but I was… I was so desperate to have you to myself."

I looked at him with surprise.

"It's not your fault," I replied softly.

"The truth is, Mimi, that I do love you. And nothing can change that."

"You're not mad?"

"A little. For not trusting me enough to tell me that you were having problems. I would have tried to help you, I really would have."

"Oh… Brian!!"

"Don't cry, Mimi. I really can't stand to see you cry. I don't hate you. I… I guess I'm feeling jealous right now. Joe must be one heck of a guy."

"He is," I answered.

"And he's very lucky too. Don't be sad, Mimi. I should have known it wasn't going to happen."

"That's… that's not all Brian. I'm moving. Back to Odaiba."

Sadness actually seemed to intensify even more.

"I'm sorry! I really am! But what really sucks is that it was my choice! I'm choosing to leave you!!! I know it's horrible of me, but I can't help it!" I cried.

"Mimi, please don't cry! It's all right," he soothed.

I finally controlled the tears, although they still ran slowly down my face.

"Mimi. I love you enough to let you go. I don't want you to hurt at all, deciding who you want. You're smart, and you can make that decision, and you obviously have. I'm just happy to know that I had the chance to be with one of the best girls in all of America… and Japan."

"I don't want to hurt you, Brian."

"I don't want you to be hurt either. As long as you are happy, I will be content."

I couldn't restrain myself. I started crying loudly again, pulling him close. He sat there quietly, stroking my hair and pleading with me not to cry. He finally brushed away one of my tears and I looked at him.

"Mimi… can… can I ask you one last thing?"

I looked and saw that he also had tears in his eyes.

"Yes?"

"Will you still go to the dance with me?"

I smiled softly.

"Brian… I wouldn't dream of doing otherwise."

"Thank you, Mimi," he replied, giving me a soft kiss on the cheek.

* * * *

"JOE!!!!!"

I looked up to see a girl with pink hair flying towards me.

"MIMI!!" I yelled back, and she practically flew into my arms.

"Joe, I missed you so much," she whispered softly as we embraced.

"I missed you too, Meems," I replied, and my words seemed to cause her to hug me even tighter.

"No, I mean I really, really love you," she suddenly answered.

For a while, I could only stand there, still embracing her.

"Don't worry, Meems. I love you too," I said quietly.

She looked up at me, tears in her eyes, and I quickly brushed them off.

"Jeez, Meems. you're acting like we haven't seen each other for a couple years."

"Oh… if only you know it all."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Nothing… I don't want to talk about it."

I didn't ask anymore questions. If she didn't want to talk about it, I was going to respect her wishes.

"Well… at least we are together again."

"Mmmm," she murmured leaning up.

I held her chin carefully so she was looking up at me. She closed her eyes and began to lean towards me.

At that moment, every feeling I ever had her came rushing for me, and I leaned down.

=See, this is the point my crappy romantic skills take over, so if you think it's dumb, it's probably because it is cause I totally can't write romance, no matter how hard I try=

She must have been in a hurry cause then she grabbed my face with both her hands and pulled me down a little so that our lips were touching in a long passionate kiss. I lost all conscious thought. The important thing was that I was finally holding Mimi again, the girl I had loved for so long. Nothing mattered right now except the pink haired girl I was kissing at the moment.

Unfortunately, it cannot stay that way forever.

We eventually broke off, and we stared at each other for a while.

"Mimi… I…" I started, but she brought a finger to my lips to silence me.

"Shh," she told me softly before we leaned towards each other and started kissing again.

Epilogue

Brian sat there, on the bench where he had confessed to Mimi his love and when she had later broken up with him, and slowly tore a petal off a flower. Then another. And another. Soon, a small ocean of petals were at his feet, but he didn't care.

It had been over a month since Mimi had moved back to Odaiba, and he missed her sorely. Although he knew he had done the right thing by letting her go, he still couldn't help but regret the decision a little.

"If you keep killing those poor flowers and plucking out the petals, there will be enough to stuff a bed mattress with them, although you would still probably have to change the petals every week or so to keep it from smelling too badly. However, at the rate you're going, that won't be a problem," a voice suddenly announced, and Brian couldn't help but jump what seemed like five feet up in the air.

He turned to see a rather short (compared to him) girl with brown eyes and her medium length brown hair was tied up in a high ponytail. She was wearing a simple light purple shirt and blue jeans, and she had tied a dark blue sweater with a small butterfly design around her waist.

"Oh… sorry," he mumbled softly.

She waded carefully in the petals and sat down next to him, picking up one of the flowers that had not yet had all it's petals plucked out and smelling it.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, concern in her voice.

"Sorta…"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"To you?" he asked in surprise.

"Well? What's wrong with me? I'm not that bad, am I?"

"I don't even know you?"

"Fine then. Hi. I'm Jessica," she replied, holding out her hand.

"I'm Brian," he shook her head.

"There. Now we've been introduced."

Brian couldn't help but smile at her antics.

"Look! Call the newspapers. Brian has smiled," she grinned at him.

"Don't you have something to do? Instead… well, instead of listening to me?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"You look lonely and you could probably use some comforting."

"What are you? The angel of comfort?"

She winked.

"Perhaps. But right now, I think I'll settle for trying to help you instead of being called your angel o' comfort."

* * * *

He couldn't help it. Eventually, he found himself telling Jessica everything about Mimi and how she had left.

"Well… she was still in love with somebody else. They had known each other for longer. I didn't want her to be unhappy, so… I let her go. It was her choice, and I don't think I have any right to tamper with it. And if she chose to leave… I would have to deal with it."

"That was very nice of you, Brian. Not everybody would do that."

"Well, I'm not everybody. I'm just a nobody that came close to having a great girlfriend."

"It's not the end of the world. There are others. Maybe she wasn't the right one."

Brian looked at Jessica with a raised eyebrow.

"And I suppose you know somebody better?"

She giggled.

"Hey! I'm just your angel o' comfort. It's not my choice to find you somebody. It's yours."

* * * * 1 month later…

"Mimi! You have a phone call!"

"Oh! It must be Joe, he promised to call me!" Mimi quickly picked up the phone, "Hello, Joe?"

"Uh… Mimi, it's me. Brian."

Mimi practically fell out of her chair.

"BRIAN??? Oh my god, how have you been? How long has it been? Two months? Are you okay?" she launched into a bunch of questions.

"Yes, Mimi. It has been two months. I'm fine, and how are you?"

"Oh… I'm fine too. Look, Brian. I really am sorry and I wish I could make it up to you…"

"Mimi. It's okay. I… I've found somebody else."

"You have? That's great! What's she like? What's her name? You guys…"

"Whoa, slow down, Mimi! Her name is Jessica, and she can be very sarcastic, but underneath, she's really nice. She helped me get through my… aww, what the heck, depression after you left."

"That's great, Brian. DEPRESSION??? Uh, okay. I'm glad… I'm glad you have found somebody."

"Mimi… I'm not trying to replace you, you know. I always will love you."

"I… I know Brian. And you will always be in my heart too."

"Mimi. I hope you're happy with Joe cause if you're not, I'm going to go there and knock some sense into him."

Mimi giggled.

"Don't worry, Brian! We're very happy, thanks to you."

"That's good to here. I have to go, Mimi, long distance calls aren't very cheap."

"Oh…" she replied, a bit sadly. She wanted to talk to him.

"But Mimi? I do love you. I really do."

Mimi choked on her tears.

"Brian. I love you too. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be who I was today. You've helped me a lot too, and thank you."

"Good-bye, Mimi."

"Good-bye… Brian."

Sappy, I know. I was never good at writing romance, and this is my first attempt at one that is only romance, and I hope it's okay (pleads with readers). Anyway, please R&R unless you're going to flame. If you flame, I will doubt your reading skills.

Anyway, some notes from me. Okay. Brian is named after Brian Boitano, one of the absolute coolest figure skaters on this planet. Michelle is named after a variety of people, including two of my friends and Michelle Kwan, who I hope will win the Olympic title in Salt Lake City during the 2002 Olympics. I love Mimoe… I love Mimoe… which is why this is Mimoe. I like Ken too, which is why he's now an official "good guy". I know parts of this story was totally pointless, but when I wrote this, I was in a pointless mood ^_~. And Jessica? Well… ^_~. Anyway, both Jessica and Brian will not be showing up in any of my other stories, which is probably some pointless and useless fact, but oh well. So if you like it, sorry, this is the only story they show up in ^_^. Okay, I think that's all. I admit I got a little rushed, but I stayed up pretty late to finish it, and I wanted to get rid of it. But I hope you enjoyed! Bye!

Anyway, be easy on me. This is the first real serious romance I ever wrote, and I'm pretty proud of it.

Remember, please R&R you're going to flame.

Pikachumaniac


End file.
